The Process of Progress
The LGBTQ Community suffers from a true lack of awareness.
As I was reading this article, it became very clear to me.
In the last year, I have read two different articles talking about the who, what, where, when, and why of gay men's loneliness and its effects.
The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness; by Michael Hobbes
Gay loneliness is real but, "bitchy, toxic" culture isn't the full story; by Ben Miller
I came across both of these articles through Reddit. The response to both of these articles prompted Michael Hobbes to do an AMA on Reddit shortly after his article was published.
This is all pure context for the issue at hand.
Mr. Hobbes' friend, Jeremy, is described as being completely driven by crystal meth, cocaine, and the sex parties he would attend.
Drug usage is not part of my routine, at all. I live in the South, a place often made fun of due to the rampant crystal meth addiction and I can honestly say, I've never used it.
Multiple sexual encounters are also, not part of my routine. Part of being in rural isolation is, not just the feeling of loneliness but, actually having to be alone. You either find a way to be comfortable alone, or you continue to fight being alone.
Christian, kills himself shortly after breaking up with his boyfriend.
I do not have any other LGBTQ friends other than the ones I have through social media. It has been years since I've had an orgasm with another gay man. Months since I have even given a hug to another.
Another gay man, Malcolm, is described as a man who rarely leaves the house due to his anxiety.
The one man I can somewhat relate to, but feel like I shouldn't have to.
These men don't recall being rejected by their family, bullied by their peers, or even harassed in response to their sexuality.
To this day, I'm still subjected to these things combined with the after-effects of years and years worth of mental, emotional, and psychological abuse. I'm sure there are others who are going through the same every day.
These issues have grown and are now the stereotypical comments people who know nothing about the LGBTQ community make. Ones the LGBTQ community has yet to shake off and move past.
With a lack of outlets and others to connect with from the same community, where does "The Middle of America" fall with LGBTQ communities?
A lot of people have even asked me this question, "Why are you still living in Alabama?". It isn't a choice, it's a trap engineered through social design.
The response is usually given in disgust and involves overlapping issues including, lack of inclusiveness in the workplace and the inability to secure financial independence.
"Coastal Pride" describes the effects of prolonged ignorance of other gay communities not located on either the West or East coast.
New York and California having large communities to go to puts every state in between in a limbo of sorts. Rural isolation is a term more commonly used to describe this.
"Fire Island", the Mecca-like location now turned into a hyper-gay reality show, proves this. If you're feeling lonely, come be with your peers. All you would have to do is travel half-way across the country for a weekend to make your life better.
Another idea is, with the advent of gay marriage being legalized nationally, all problems for the gay community were going to soon be solved. In the same way, when Barack Obama was elected, people believed racism was dealt its death blow. Obviously, neither of these are true.
Then there's the reality of it all. Our own community is responsible for making it better.
The lack of lasting connections, sex with strangers as an escape, drug usage as a release, and suicide as the answer to be freed from it all is just noise and distracting us from making lasting progress.
The failures of the LGBTQ community are out in the open.
Early on I was asked what I was planning to do with this project other than just write about how miserable I am. Looking back at my response, I should've asked, "Why aren't you miserable along with the rest of us?", maybe I would have gotten answers as to what the next step should be.
As I was reading this article, it became very clear to me.
In the last year, I have read two different articles talking about the who, what, where, when, and why of gay men's loneliness and its effects.
The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness; by Michael Hobbes
Gay loneliness is real but, "bitchy, toxic" culture isn't the full story; by Ben Miller
I came across both of these articles through Reddit. The response to both of these articles prompted Michael Hobbes to do an AMA on Reddit shortly after his article was published.
This is all pure context for the issue at hand.
Mr. Hobbes' friend, Jeremy, is described as being completely driven by crystal meth, cocaine, and the sex parties he would attend.
Drug usage is not part of my routine, at all. I live in the South, a place often made fun of due to the rampant crystal meth addiction and I can honestly say, I've never used it.
Multiple sexual encounters are also, not part of my routine. Part of being in rural isolation is, not just the feeling of loneliness but, actually having to be alone. You either find a way to be comfortable alone, or you continue to fight being alone.
Christian, kills himself shortly after breaking up with his boyfriend.
I do not have any other LGBTQ friends other than the ones I have through social media. It has been years since I've had an orgasm with another gay man. Months since I have even given a hug to another.
Another gay man, Malcolm, is described as a man who rarely leaves the house due to his anxiety.
The one man I can somewhat relate to, but feel like I shouldn't have to.
These men don't recall being rejected by their family, bullied by their peers, or even harassed in response to their sexuality.
To this day, I'm still subjected to these things combined with the after-effects of years and years worth of mental, emotional, and psychological abuse. I'm sure there are others who are going through the same every day.
With a lack of outlets and others to connect with from the same community, where does "The Middle of America" fall with LGBTQ communities?
A lot of people have even asked me this question, "Why are you still living in Alabama?". It isn't a choice, it's a trap engineered through social design.
The response is usually given in disgust and involves overlapping issues including, lack of inclusiveness in the workplace and the inability to secure financial independence.
"Coastal Pride" describes the effects of prolonged ignorance of other gay communities not located on either the West or East coast.
New York and California having large communities to go to puts every state in between in a limbo of sorts. Rural isolation is a term more commonly used to describe this.
"Fire Island", the Mecca-like location now turned into a hyper-gay reality show, proves this. If you're feeling lonely, come be with your peers. All you would have to do is travel half-way across the country for a weekend to make your life better.
Another idea is, with the advent of gay marriage being legalized nationally, all problems for the gay community were going to soon be solved. In the same way, when Barack Obama was elected, people believed racism was dealt its death blow. Obviously, neither of these are true.
Then there's the reality of it all. Our own community is responsible for making it better.
The lack of lasting connections, sex with strangers as an escape, drug usage as a release, and suicide as the answer to be freed from it all is just noise and distracting us from making lasting progress.
The failures of the LGBTQ community are out in the open.
Early on I was asked what I was planning to do with this project other than just write about how miserable I am. Looking back at my response, I should've asked, "Why aren't you miserable along with the rest of us?", maybe I would have gotten answers as to what the next step should be.
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