Anchor

My time with dating apps was relatively short. At one point or another, I was a member of Grindr, GROWLr, Scruff, and Surge, all at the same time.

My experience was not what I had hoped for at all. I heard it was almost too easy to find someone to have sex with. If I couldn't find someone to have sex with on one of these apps, I was doing something wrong.

I didn't even go out on one date.

Defeated, deflated, and sent slithering down into Mom's basement, again.

I had a few interested persons but, they were either already in a relationship or someone I was not interested in sexually. I ran into some old friends but, didn't make any new ones.

Yet again, showcasing how living outside more prominent LGBTQ communities has an effect.

I admit I have "red flags" and being single is largely my fault but, I can't help wonder what my life would be like if I attended High School or even college in this area and found someone who was interested in a relationship and could bypass all the dating apps, the awkward introductions, telling yet another person I live with my parents at 35 and all the reasons why I do.

If I screamed out at the top of my lungs, "I'm a loser!", would it make people want me more? Probably not.

Every time I make a new post on this blog, I'm only reminded of how much I dislike where I live, where I am in life, and how much I'm living for other people and not for myself.

I tried so hard to make a more humorous post today, just to break out of feeling like a human anchor.

I obviously failed.

The only thing worse than feeling like you're alone. Is actually being alone. 

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