Profile No Longer Exists

I downloaded and created profiles across several different "dating" apps earlier this year. I was on Grindr, GROWLr, Hornet, Scruff, and Surge for close to five months. A shallow selection pool of men in my area, combined with men who were only interested in hook-ups quickly made me cut back on my activity level until I stopped using these platforms altogether. 

When I was active daily on these apps, I made a few decent connections but, I never went on any dates. 

Turns out the selection pool was shallow in more ways than one. Maybe I'm just bitter.

I'm no stranger to hooking up but, it isn't my preference. Out of all the one-night stands I've had, I can't ever remember this being my objective or intention. Of course, this was during a day and age before smartphones, dating apps, ghosting, and gay marriage.

Times have changed quickly in the gay community and even more so in the dating scene. I'd even argue my lack of access to the internet for a number of years, only heightens my disorientation in social interactions where a lot of gay men are involved.  

The main thing I never quite understood while on a dating app, was how many men are still closeted or on the down low, even in 2017. I was shocked to constantly run across these kinds of men. They would ask;   

"Do you like to suck dick?"

*puzzled face*

I'm not sure what I actually responded with but, my sarcastic side wanted to say, "No, I'm on Grindr looking for busty MILFs. This is where the slutty Moms hang out, right?". I have no clue what these guys are thinking. 

I live with my parents, so I can't host a hookup. You're straight and probably married. Dating apps are not just about getting free blowjobs. Think about how disgusting it would be to randomly find someone online and then they just expect you to show up without even talking or meeting in person, to perform oral sex on them. 

Now remind yourself before you jump to a conclusion thinking, "Of course, I do it all the time.", I live in Alabama. 

Makes one think about the situation a lot more, doesn't it? Never mind smoking pole in my parents' house, never mind his Wife walking in on me doing it, what about random stealth homophobic rednecks and Craigslist-esque killers? What's stopping them from not reciprocating?
  
The cons far outweigh the pros in many different dating app scenarios. I honestly don't know if I'd even be able to navigate safely if the selection pool wasn't nearly dried up. 

Maybe I'll try out the dating apps again next year. Even if it is just to check and see if the pool is any deeper. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Self-Fulfilled Prophecy

Image
Recently, a local news article about an apartment maintenance superintendent's alleged sexual assault was posted and shared throughout the local community on Facebook. The article itself is borderline fear mongering and overly detailed because it involves a man sexually assaulting boys. The article itself isn't the only issue. The amount of incredibly hate-filled and violent responses posted in the comment section are too many to count. The comments below are unedited. Some comments include detailed descriptions of graphic violence, inhumane treatment, and torture. ***Trigger Warning*** - Headline should read " Local Child Predator Found Dead In Ditch". End of story. - They need to take him out in the woods! Strip him, nail his nutsack to a stump & pour syrup around them& watch the ants come running! - Somebody that does something like this there is no cure for them they are sick in the head might as well take him around back and s
Read more

No Pride: End of the Year Special

Image
Yeah, no, nothing special really. Just the usual post, rant, musing, or what have you. For anyone who might not know who I am or what I'm about , let me try and do my best. I've always had a passion for writing. I used to keep journals when I was younger and writing has become very cathartic for me. Suffering from General Anxiety Disorder and Severe Depression is no picnic, but writing helps me, a lot. This doesn't make me Mark Twain or Stephen King. I do not suffer from delusions of grandeur. I can only hope, one day, No Pride or any other of my projects , might actually become something bigger and I can actually say I'm a blogger or writer, who gets paid for the things I create. Also, I ramble. I don't even try to hide this by saying, "Well, sometimes I ramble.", no. I ramble . A lot. I try to edit posts and everything I write, to the best of my ability, but I'm no editor, either. To anyone who came here expecting a riveting thesis (more o
Read more

The Elephant in the Room

Image
Edited: 02-28-2018: Grammatically and Readability Edited: 06-03-2018: Grammatically and Description _________________________________________________________________________________ My perspective as an openly gay man living in an uber-conservative, non-metropolitan area is, the LGBTQ community is not really a community. I would describe it more as a group of people who just so happen to share a very small piece of common ground. Friendships and sometimes even relationships are built upon this one piece of information but, I haven't had the luxury often. At the beginning of 2017, I was crushed by rural isolation. I reached out for friendship, companionship, just about anything through whatever means the internet offered. I was attached to Skype for a while. I only found a handful of people to talk to. Some of them I was interested in, even sexually, but it never really went anywhere. I took a hiatus from Skype because one contact, in particular, was extremely to
Read more