One of us, one of us, one of us...

As I've said before, there are difficulties with being openly gay and living in Alabama.


The list is rather long and would possibly make you question what the current year is. It's 2018...

Last year, after striking out on dating apps for months, I decided to quit while I was ahead. Being alone sucks but, it beats losing sleep over all the ridiculous obstacles one must overcome to secure a date.

Besides all of my own red flags, which, I admittedly have, there seems to be a full examination I've either never cared to partake in or was oblivious to its very existence.

"What are you looking for?"


 ...
A date?

People still go on dates, right?

"No, what are you looking for in a relationship?"


Really, just a date. We can talk about relationship goals on the third date. Marriage goals in a year or two, okay, 6 months at the least. Can I just hold your hand and talk about our interests first?

"I'd like to get to know you better."


This is not secret code for, "I'm a serial killer looking for my next victim. I think your skin will fit into my skin graft suit nicely. It even matches this season's trends.".

On the list of fun things we can do together on a first date, ritualistic blood sacrifice, is not one of them.

I reserve talking about my religious beliefs until marriage.

"Where do you work?" 


This is a completely normal question. The reactions I've gotten are what bothers me. I've even gotten to a point where I have a whole line to answer this question. 

"I'm technically unemployed but, I'm working on several blogs and writing projects."

"No thanks."


You work at, [insert retail store/chain restaurant/health and beauty provider here]! The ridiculously pretentious title your Management team created to keep you content with your employment isn't fooling me. 


"You don't have any money."


You're right, I don't. I can think of a lot of things to do for free. 

I'm not talking about sex, either! 

I did THINK about it, though. Only for a second...


"You live with your parents..."


Right along with 30% of millennials today. You know what? Nevermind, I'm good... 

When I was younger, healthier, "richer", and lived in an apartment by myself, nobody seemed interested then, either. 

*shrug* 

The line of questions is one pitfall after another waiting for their next victim. 


If you're still talking to me after all the red flags have been addressed, I'm not going to say no to you.

The differences in the LGBTQ community never cease to amaze me. How progressive one city can be compared to the next. How different Atlanta, Georgia is from Birmingham, Alabama.

If Alabama wants to make progress, especially for the LGBTQ community, we're going to have to start finding ways to not be as elitist as other states who can afford to do so.

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