A Southern Gay: Part 1

I don't often get a lot of correspondence with any of my blog projects, which, is understandable. This month I've been asked some questions and I want to take the time to respond to them in full.

I was originally going to answer the question, "Why I haven't moved out of Alabama?". It isn't a difficult answer but, it is going to take some time to fully answer.

In trying to stay close to the subject of, "Southern Living" and maybe even shed a little light on the reasons why I haven't moved out of Alabama, I'm going to respond to Billy Eichner's near-sighted tweet and expand out from my response.

As I've said before, the disconnect of the gay community is real. Mr. Eichener's tweet alone absolutely, one-hundred percent, serves as proof of my statement.

If there's any truth to the idea of different versions of America existing for every individual group, then Gay America is divided into the East Coast, West Coast, Pacific Northwest, Rocky Mountain, Texan, Mid-Western, South Beach, Hampton, and Southern Gays.

There may even be some geographical gay groups I've overlooked.

To have Billy Eichner, an openly gay man publicly representing the gay community, respond to the actions of the State of Georgia in such a way, which, questions his knowledge of the gay community, is baffling to me.

Before this gets too far out of hand, I don't hate any gay man, not even Milo Yiannopoulos.

I do strongly dislike Milo, though.

I don't know Mr. Eichner. I don't watch, "Billy on the Street" or "Difficult People". I'm only vaguely aware of his work. I'm not a fan, but good on him.  

One of the main reasons I started, "No Pride" is because I have lost count of the number of times I have logged onto Reddit, gone into an LGBTQ related subreddit, and have seen people asking what life is like for Southern Gays. I'm always humored by the responses from people who don't actually live an openly gay life in the South.    

In a nutshell, life in the South as an openly gay man sucks.

I'm sure there are some who are having the time of their life while being openly gay but, I would be willing to bet they meet one, or more, of the following standards:

1. They are a drag queen or performance artist of some kind where their sexuality is the main draw.

2. They are very effeminate (some, by choice). 

3. They work in one of the following places. A salon and/or retail store, a restaurant (usually, not as a server), as a flight attendant, or they work in an office setting where they rarely deal with the public. 

4. They are in a relationship of some kind (it's highly possible the relationship is a marriage of convenience). 

5. They do not live in a rural area or "safe space" of any kind.

If scientific research was ever conducted, we would probably discover no less than ninety percent of Southern Gays suffer from "RBF".

I would guess it's from living in the South for so long.

To all you non-Southern gays... You're all so cute.

And it's a good thing you are because I'm not sure what else you're good for. Honestly.

If you claim to be advocating for Gay Rights, who do you think you're fighting for exactly?

The advocates I remember growing up are nowhere to be found.

Dan Savage is busy doing whatever it is he does now. I've already expressed my thoughts about the "It Gets Better" organization.

After Dan Savage, who is left anyway? Andrew Sullivan...?

Do we even have a Gay Rights activist group located in Alabama?

When same-sex marriage was legalized nationally, did all the activists think the fight for equality was suddenly over?

On the subject of same-sex marriage, did anyone know the state of Alabama responded in ways far worse than what Kim Davis was doing to ONE couple in ONE county of Kentucky?

Did you know Roy Moore told courts in Alabama to interpret the State Constitution however they saw fit? Which led to gay couples being denied marriage licenses statewide.

Here's a small taste of what it's like to be a Southern Gay in the wake of a "huge victory".

Ambrosia Starling's Fight Against Roy Moore

Most Alabama Counties Defy Feds by Blocking Gay Marriage

Many Alabama Counties Refuse to Issue Gay Marriage Licenses

13 Counties in Alabama Still Refuse to Grant Marriage Licenses to Gay Couples

Let the Federal Government Issue Same-Sex Marriage Licenses

Eight Alabama Counties Still Refuse to Issue Marriage Licenses to Gay Couples Despite Ruling

Alabama Chief Justice Suspended Without Pay for Stopping Same-Sex Marriage Licenses


Of course, the other "win" in Alabama where people cheered as if they had a real horse in the race, again forgot about Alabama and Southern Gays right when we thought it was all going to have a happy ending...


Alabama Senate Passes Bill Eliminating Marriage Licenses to Spite Gay Couples


If we're all supposed to be in an uproar over the state of Georgia's decision on gay couples adopting, where was this outrage for Alabama?

To further prove how easily forgotten Southern Gays are, let's look closer into the malaise of the NRA boycott.

Delta Airlines decided to eliminate their discount program for NRA members and pulled any information relating to the organization from their company's website.

The lieutenant governor of Georgia responded.

Then, it prompted some people to immediately push the narrative of moving the "Southern Mecca", from Atlanta, Georgia to Birmingham, Alabama starting with Delta's hub.

The idea of the move was proposed, in the same Twitter thread as the anti-gay adoption legislation story...

Southern Gays are truly marginalized in ways I find inexplicable.

I'm glad the needle got pushed. I'm glad there are some who won the fight for legalizing marriage.

I'm probably going to get told I should be happy some are now fighting for adoption rights.

It doesn't mean a lot to me. It only serves as a reminder of how far behind Southern Gays are in comparison to other Gay Americans.

There's a lot of work to be done in the fight for gay rights and equality.

The rural isolation is deadly. The lack of support, awareness, and action is frustrating.

I can not understand how the greatest inequalities clearly exist here in the South and yet, it seems as if the toughest job for activists and organizations advocating for gay rights turn and look someplace else.