Ageism

Edited: 02-27-2018: Grammatically and visually

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Of course, the first thing most people will think about when it comes to age is how it affects your sexual attraction. "You're too old.", "Daddy issues", "Old Queen", the whole "fetishism" of older gay men, "Gay men die when they turn 30.", the list goes on and I'm sure we're aware age does play a huge role in the gay community. 

While this is definitely a topic of discussion, in my experience, the worst case of ageism I have ever experienced is being denied help and support when I was in need. 

Last year, my fight against severe anxiety and depression was extremely difficult.

Difficult enough to the point where I was searching for answers from any person willing to listen.

At the time, I didn't have a computer as a resource and access to the internet was constantly in limbo (a story for another time).

When I was able to search the internet, I did so on my PlayStation 3. I searched for any and all LGBTQ hotlines, websites, and organizations that I could find.

One of the biggest problems with being gay in Alabama is there isn't much of an LGBTQ community statewide, to begin with. Even more troubling is the lack of organizations willing to offer valuable help and support.

One website did have a list, though.   

I found a few organizations within an hour of where I live but, when I tried to contact them, their phone numbers had either changed or been disconnected.

When I visited their websites they weren't even operating anymore. I was at a loss unless I could find a way to go out of state for help.

I decided to turn to well-known national organizations instead. I told myself they would have far more resources and could help me. 

I thought of, the "National Suicide Prevention Lifeline", "The Trevor Project", "It Gets Better", and the "Human Rights Campaign" (HRC). 

The "National Suicide Prevention Lifeline" was a little extreme. I wasn't feeling suicidal. I was looking for somewhere to go to get out of the toxic environment I was living in. I wanted to find something similar to a homeless shelter or a halfway house. I thought about selling everything I owned, disowning my family, and moving as far away from them as I could. 

"The Trevor Project", was my next option. They don't offer help for LGBTQ people my age. They don't help people over the age of 24 as far as I can tell.

Here is a statement posted on the front of their website.

"Trevor provides valuable resources to young people nationwide who may not have anywhere else to turn to for help. That's why their work is so incredible - thanks to Trevor's programs, LGBTQ youth are not alone."

I agree with this statement, to a degree, regardless it doesn't do any good for me.

Next up, "It Gets Better".

Unfortunately, I would soon discover this phrase, is inaccurate.

Their website looks like it hasn't been touched since the inception of the organization. Video content still runs on Adobe Flash. It gives thanks to, Uber, for being a major sponsor.

They are definitely not up to date on current events.

They openly support the LGBTQ community, but never mind women. 

They seem to have changed their goal as well, they now only focus on LGBTQ youth.

Again, ageism playing a role. The time when things get better, according to them, are between the ages of 18 to 24 and then you're screwed. 

I was once told I come across as being young, based on this blog's content. I am 35-years-old. One of the issues I take with, "It Gets Better", is this idea once you graduate from High School, you're in the clear.

This isn't always true.

I was harassed and bullied out of a job shortly before I turned 30 and it wasn't the only time this happened to me.  

It also says in the name itself, don't do anything, don't worry, it'll get better.

I find it a little offensive to be honest.

Doing nothing changes nothing.

Getting older doesn't magically make the world a better place for anyone, less so if you identify as LGBTQ.

"It Gets Better", is not a basis for building an entire organization for supporting people's lifestyles upon. It is no better than a quote on a motivational poster. It's a line from a Hallmark card you would give to somebody who was recently hospitalized.  

The statement should be, "We'll Make It Better" or "You Need to Make It Better".

Some have thought I have supported and even condoned suicide through this blog, I responded by saying, "Seek help", immediately if need be.

Which is exactly what they should be offering. Words of encouragement. 

Lastly, "The Human Rights Campaign" or HRC.

Remember them?

When Barack Obama was acting President, you couldn't swing a cat without hitting a story about the HRC's influence on the LGBTQ community. I haven't heard a peep from the HRC since Donald Trump was elected. 

Anyway, I called their National Chapter.

During a phone conversation, I was told the HRC does not deal with individuals. They only deal with LGBTQ organizations and I should look into going to church and praying to the "big guy" upstairs for help and guidance.

I was devastated even more than before. 

First, if you're only willing to deal with organizations, your interests are clearly in gaining power, winning trophies, and increasing fame and fortune.

You're not truly interested in helping individuals in need, which, is the opposite of Human Rights.   

Second, there was no mention of it in our short conversation but, I'm an Atheist.

In large part, my faith died when I started attending churches in Alabama. 

Third, did I not mention Alabama?

You shouldn't be allowed to work for the HRC in any capacity if you're unaware churches in Alabama are what those who work for the HRC would call out as job security.   

Fourth, it's fine if you don't or can't deal with me on an individual basis.

Could they have read a list of organizations in Alabama willing and able to help me? I guess not. 

I find it odd there are so many organizations who claim to have the agenda of helping and supporting LGBTQ persons but, are limiting their reach with such unnecessary requirements.

What do these organizations say to people who are "too old"? What would their response have been had my own will pushed past respecting these limitations? Would they have hung up on me? 

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure these organizations are doing good but, I honestly believe they could be doing better. 

The suicide rate among LGBTQ people and those in the same age group as myself aren't showing any signs of improving.

I don't want a larger crisis to be the catalyst for change.