Profile No Longer Exists
I downloaded and created profiles across several different "dating" apps earlier this year. I was on Grindr, GROWLr, Hornet, Scruff, and Surge for close to five months. A shallow selection pool of men in my area, combined with men who were only interested in hook-ups quickly made me cut back on my activity level until I stopped using these platforms altogether.
When I was active daily on these apps, I made a few decent connections but, I never went on any dates.
Turns out the selection pool was shallow in more ways than one. Maybe I'm just bitter.
I'm no stranger to hooking up but, it isn't my preference. Out of all the one-night stands I've had, I can't ever remember this being my objective or intention. Of course, this was during a day and age before smartphones, dating apps, ghosting, and gay marriage.
Times have changed quickly in the gay community and even more so in the dating scene. I'd even argue my lack of access to the internet for a number of years, only heightens my disorientation in social interactions where a lot of gay men are involved.
The main thing I never quite understood while on a dating app, was how many men are still closeted or on the down low, even in 2017. I was shocked to constantly run across these kinds of men. They would ask;
"Do you like to suck dick?"
*puzzled face*
I'm not sure what I actually responded with but, my sarcastic side wanted to say, "No, I'm on Grindr looking for busty MILFs. This is where the slutty Moms hang out, right?". I have no clue what these guys are thinking.
I live with my parents, so I can't host a hookup. You're straight and probably married. Dating apps are not just about getting free blowjobs. Think about how disgusting it would be to randomly find someone online and then they just expect you to show up without even talking or meeting in person, to perform oral sex on them.
Now remind yourself before you jump to a conclusion thinking, "Of course, I do it all the time.", I live in Alabama.
Makes one think about the situation a lot more, doesn't it? Never mind smoking pole in my parents' house, never mind his Wife walking in on me doing it, what about random stealth homophobic rednecks and Craigslist-esque killers? What's stopping them from not reciprocating?
The cons far outweigh the pros in many different dating app scenarios. I honestly don't know if I'd even be able to navigate safely if the selection pool wasn't nearly dried up.
Maybe I'll try out the dating apps again next year. Even if it is just to check and see if the pool is any deeper.
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