No Pride

Yeah, no, nothing special really. Just the usual post, rant, musing, or what have you. For anyone who might not know who I am or what I'm about , let me try and do my best. I've always had a passion for writing. I used to keep journals when I was younger and writing has become very cathartic for me. Suffering from General Anxiety Disorder and Severe Depression is no picnic, but writing helps me, a lot. This doesn't make me Mark Twain or Stephen King. I do not suffer from delusions of grandeur. I can only hope, one day, No Pride or any other of my projects , might actually become something bigger and I can actually say I'm a blogger or writer, who gets paid for the things I create. Also, I ramble. I don't even try to hide this by saying, "Well, sometimes I ramble.", no. I ramble . A lot. I try to edit posts and everything I write, to the best of my ability, but I'm no editor, either. To anyone who came here expecting a riveting thesis (more o...

One of the most difficult things about writing for, "No Pride", is the amount of bullying, harassment, and discrimination I have to revisit. First, there's the direct. Second, there's the indirect. Third, there is all the internal aftershock like pings I feel when talking about my experience with being openly gay. I've never been afforded a "safe space". I've lived my entire life in areas largely known to be openly and proudly homophobic. As far as direct effects, I'd have to count all the times I've been called a homophobic slur. All the times I've been told to move or get out of town. All the times I've been threatened with physical violence. All the times I've been made to feel uncomfortable in the workplace, with sexual comments, innuendoes, or jokes made at my expense. I've come to understand, I'll always be the odd man out. It doesn't make things better, though. Being pointed out for being gay ...

I really try to put things into perspective the best way I can without trying to be negative all the time, but in discussing the LGBTQ community, especially from my perspective, there aren't a lot of positive things for me to say. It's not difficult to explain, it's just very time consuming because it's multi-faceted and complex in ways, a lot of people can't, don't, or purposely choose not to understand. In looking at the list of topics I want to write about and hopefully, one day given a chance to discuss publicly, it showcases how talking about anything LGBTQ related is extremely difficult for those who don't have a platform or a group to talk with on a regular basis.  I have a notepad document with all the things I plan to write about. It's my, "List of Writing Ideas". It has notes about every blog and writing project I'm currently working on and ones I plan to work on at some point in the future. For, "No Pride", the lis...

My time with dating apps was relatively short. At one point or another, I was a member of Grindr, GROWLr, Scruff, and Surge, all at the same time. My experience was not what I had hoped for at all. I heard it was almost too easy to find someone to have sex with. If I couldn't find someone to have sex with on one of these apps, I was doing something wrong. I didn't even go out on one date. Defeated, deflated, and sent slithering down into Mom's basement, again. I had a few interested persons but, they were either already in a relationship or someone I was not interested in sexually. I ran into some old friends but, didn't make any new ones. Yet again, showcasing how living outside more prominent LGBTQ communities has an effect. I admit I have "red flags" and being single is largely my fault but, I can't help wonder what my life would be like if I attended High School or even college in this area and found someone who was interested in a relation...

I was recently asked about my goals for, "No Pride" and I think it's important to announce them for all readers to see. First, I've never been fully comfortable with my own homosexuality.  Call it internalized homophobia, oppression, lack of self-esteem or confidence. I feel better when I talk out loud, too bad, not many people want to talk to me about "gay stuff". Writing allows me to say things I don't normally get to say. Blogging is cathartic for me.  Second, the LGBTQ community doesn't truly exist in my area. By telling my story/stories, as unimportant and insignificant as they may be to the overall picture, it shows the issues all people who identify as LGBTQ face from my perspective. States like California, New York, and Washington have a prominent LGBTQ voice, Alabama does not. Third, this could potentially turn into a larger, self-sufficient community in the future. Again, the LGBTQ community doesn't have the reach a lot of pe...