No Pride

As I've said before, there are difficulties with being openly gay and living in Alabama. The list is rather long and would possibly make you question what the current year is. It's 2018... Last year, after striking out on dating apps for months, I decided to quit while I was ahead. Being alone sucks but, it beats losing sleep over all the ridiculous obstacles one must overcome to secure a date. Besides all of my own red flags, which, I admittedly have, there seems to be a full examination I've either never cared to partake in or was oblivious to its very existence. "What are you looking for?" ... A date? People still go on dates, right? "No, what are you looking for in a relationship?" Really, just a date. We can talk about relationship goals on the third date. Marriage goals in a year or two, okay, 6 months at the least. Can I just hold your hand and talk about our interests first? "I'd like to get to know you better....

I downloaded and created profiles across several different "dating" apps earlier this year. I was on Grindr, GROWLr, Hornet, Scruff, and Surge for close to five months. A shallow selection pool of men in my area, combined with men who were only interested in hook-ups quickly made me cut back on my activity level until I stopped using these platforms altogether.  When I was active daily on these apps, I made a few decent connections but, I never went on any dates.  Turns out the selection pool was shallow in more ways than one. Maybe I'm just bitter. I'm no stranger to hooking up but, it isn't my preference. Out of all the one-night stands I've had, I can't ever remember this being my objective or intention. Of course, this was during a day and age before smartphones, dating apps, ghosting, and gay marriage. Times have changed quickly in the gay community and even more so in the dating scene. I'd even argue my lack of access to the inte...

My time with dating apps was relatively short. At one point or another, I was a member of Grindr, GROWLr, Scruff, and Surge, all at the same time. My experience was not what I had hoped for at all. I heard it was almost too easy to find someone to have sex with. If I couldn't find someone to have sex with on one of these apps, I was doing something wrong. I didn't even go out on one date. Defeated, deflated, and sent slithering down into Mom's basement, again. I had a few interested persons but, they were either already in a relationship or someone I was not interested in sexually. I ran into some old friends but, didn't make any new ones. Yet again, showcasing how living outside more prominent LGBTQ communities has an effect. I admit I have "red flags" and being single is largely my fault but, I can't help wonder what my life would be like if I attended High School or even college in this area and found someone who was interested in a relation...

I honestly can't remember the last time I had sex. Living in Alabama presents a whole new level of challenges commonly overlooked or completely unknown to others who haven't had to live the experience themselves. Even in this day and age with a long list of "dating" apps, it hasn't become any easier for me. I had accounts on Grindr, GROWLr, Scruff, and Surge for about 4 months. After being unsuccessful with going out on one single date during this time, I completely gave up on the dating scene, again, and deleted all my accounts and apps. I want to have connections, friends, and even more, but it just isn't working out well. Of course, I have "red flags". Ones I don't hide behind at all. I don't have a paying job, I still live with my parents, and I'm your typical, mostly uninteresting, video game playing, "grown man-child". Most of these issues, are ones I can overcome, in time. I'm currently working on severa...