No Pride

Yeah, no, nothing special really. Just the usual post, rant, musing, or what have you. For anyone who might not know who I am or what I'm about , let me try and do my best. I've always had a passion for writing. I used to keep journals when I was younger and writing has become very cathartic for me. Suffering from General Anxiety Disorder and Severe Depression is no picnic, but writing helps me, a lot. This doesn't make me Mark Twain or Stephen King. I do not suffer from delusions of grandeur. I can only hope, one day, No Pride or any other of my projects , might actually become something bigger and I can actually say I'm a blogger or writer, who gets paid for the things I create. Also, I ramble. I don't even try to hide this by saying, "Well, sometimes I ramble.", no. I ramble . A lot. I try to edit posts and everything I write, to the best of my ability, but I'm no editor, either. To anyone who came here expecting a riveting thesis (more o...

One of the most difficult things about writing for, "No Pride", is the amount of bullying, harassment, and discrimination I have to revisit. First, there's the direct. Second, there's the indirect. Third, there is all the internal aftershock like pings I feel when talking about my experience with being openly gay. I've never been afforded a "safe space". I've lived my entire life in areas largely known to be openly and proudly homophobic. As far as direct effects, I'd have to count all the times I've been called a homophobic slur. All the times I've been told to move or get out of town. All the times I've been threatened with physical violence. All the times I've been made to feel uncomfortable in the workplace, with sexual comments, innuendoes, or jokes made at my expense. I've come to understand, I'll always be the odd man out. It doesn't make things better, though. Being pointed out for being gay ...

I really try to put things into perspective the best way I can without trying to be negative all the time, but in discussing the LGBTQ community, especially from my perspective, there aren't a lot of positive things for me to say. It's not difficult to explain, it's just very time consuming because it's multi-faceted and complex in ways, a lot of people can't, don't, or purposely choose not to understand. In looking at the list of topics I want to write about and hopefully, one day given a chance to discuss publicly, it showcases how talking about anything LGBTQ related is extremely difficult for those who don't have a platform or a group to talk with on a regular basis.  I have a notepad document with all the things I plan to write about. It's my, "List of Writing Ideas". It has notes about every blog and writing project I'm currently working on and ones I plan to work on at some point in the future. For, "No Pride", the lis...

I wasn't planning to make an addition to, "A Southern Gay", but it seems my story and voice, which I'm sure, neither are mine alone, aren't being heard.  "No Pride", is quickly becoming much larger than I originally thought it would be and I'm trying to give every facet the proper amount of exposure to make sure I'm doing the whole story justice. I know I sound like a complete A-Hole sometimes, mostly because it's really difficult for me to see LGBTQ progress from where I'm standing. I recently read a lot about Andrew Sullivan and his awkward worldviews. The only thing I could think about was how did other people not already see this about him. There are other gay voices out there not belonging to Andrew Sullivan, or people like him. Then I read about how people are angry with "Angels in America" receiving more exposure while not representing women of color. Overall, these narratives sound a lot like, "...

When I first created this blog project, I didn't really know how to go about promoting it. It has adult content, so I can't publicly post it on my Google+ profile and I don't like the idea of openly promoting through Twitter because that account is connected to Facebook and therefore, my family.  One of the main reasons I started this project, is I'm openly gay but, not in an expected manner. Living in Alabama with my conservative family poses threats. The threat of a very uncomfortable situation, unnecessary anger, disdain, the creation of a toxic environment, bullying, harassment, estrangement, and even violence. Yes, it is that bad in the area I live in. I'll get into that at some point, I'm sure.  In the end, it isn't really worth it to promote in that manner. I turned to the last avenue I could think of, Reddit. I have a very strange relationship with Reddit, as documented on my other blog, " @ntisocial ". However, the results of doin...

Edited December 12th, 2018: Grammatically and Readability _________________________________________________________________________________ One reason I started, No Pride, is because I don't feel like the LGBTQ community is really a community. If it is, I'm not a part of it in a way I would like to be. Being openly gay in Alabama is pretty much what most people would imagine it to be. In large part, it is the reason I now choose to stay out of the local workforce, I don't have a lot of close friends, and my family just doesn't seem to understand what I'm going through, regardless of what they know to be true. Even more difficult, is how rare it is to come across someone who also identifies as LGBTQ. The loneliness, on top of the sexual repression, on top of the alienation, on top of the bullying and harassment is enough to drive anyone crazy. "They" should be proud of themselves, I currently suffer from severe anxiety and depression, which, I'm not a...